I’ve been thinking about this post for near about a week. And I’ve been trying to write it for, what must be, a few of days, now. The more I think and write about how I feel, the more forced and insincere, I think, it seems. So I’m just going to write and hope I get down all I want to say…
My dearest friend, Freddy, passed away last Thursday morning, June 11th, 2009. Just as quickly as he came into my life, he was gone…
Well the moment I’d been dreading all week came today, my Grandmother’s memorial. For obvious reasons, of course, but, rather selfishly, I was nervous about being asked if the piece I wrote after her passing could be read as “part of the proceedings.”
You know, if I’d been asked earlier this week, I’m quite sure I’d have said no. There’s something about having the words I write, read back to me that leaves me feeling awkward and subtlety embarrassed. Sounds strange, I know. Because it is. What can I say? It’s the introvert in me.
But, more to my point, I was “dreading” being asked, mostly, on account of it was an exceptionally hard bit to write so soon after hearing she was gone. And I wasn’t at all comfortable with my reaction in response to my ramblings being spoken aloud, not only to myself, but a room full of people…
This morning my Grandmother passed away. I don’t have much detail at this point, but if the last two weeks are any indication, she finally fell victim to a long and painful bout with Alzheimer’s. A nasty, unrelenting disease.
What could I ever hope to say about such an inspirational figure in my life? Except, of course, I love you so very much and you will be sorely missed. Plus I’d be remiss not to highlight something I’ve already said;
“I am the person I am because of the people they are. Growing up I’ve witnessed my Grandparents having to face peoples often misguided expectations. And although they never showed one bit of frustration towards peoples unawareness they had every right to be irritated. Ignorance of peoples feelings is purely a reason for treating people indifferently. It’s NOT an excuse…”
Or in other words, not only was my Grandmother an important half of an unstoppable team of personal motivation, she was so much more. She was an image of an individual who had lived with difficulties most, all but 7 years, of her 84 year stint on this planet. I can’t help but feel great sorrow for all she represented and, much more pressing is, what we’ve lost…