During the last week of this past August my Dad found out he had Colorectal cancer. But as he awaited treatment details in the subsequent month and a bit since being diagnosed, the less dire everything seemed to be. His doctor’s weren’t rushing back to him with any news. And when they finally did, they were pretty confident their prescribed treatment — being major surgery — while still very serious, would eradicate the issue. I gathered he just wanted it over with. Dare I say it, we all did?
Then along came the day prior to Hallowe’en, the day of his surgery. While it ran long, it was successful. However his initial recovery was slow. And the following Tuesday morning, while involved in his “physio,” if I may label it as such, he had what his doctor labelled a “cardiac event.”
Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not looking to place blame on anyone. But everyone involved in his care after this occurring wasn’t entirely clear on what had happened. Or what was continuing to unfold. His doctor being chief among “everyone.” Point being, “why” is no longer a question I’m particularly interested in asking anymore. I’d much rather focus on the way in which my Dad handled things which he was dealt. Whether it was how he immediately put his entire life on hold when I needed an advocate, or how he passed from this world.
Fortunately I was “out” when each was put in — benefits of coma and all. Which is for the best. They missed my stomach on their first attempt at putting my G-tube in. Or it probably fell out after they put it in. And they put me “out” to remove the second G-tube. But to remove my trache, I was conscious for that. I saw what they needed for that procedure. It sure didn’t look like it felt.
And with that the lightbulb came on. It all makes perfect sense now: I love creating within limits. I need to feel limit. My life is one huge limit. That explains why I’ve never, even for a second, felt the need to be sorry for myself over what happened to me. I live for this shit! And I’m in the perfect situation to absolutely shatter expectation.
“Have you ever had one of those life changing events? Where you have little choice but to heed it’s wishes? I’ve had a few. My accident is one. Going vegan is two. And the third one happened just this past Saturday. And all are equally momentous…”
“That said, I also rewrote both my About and Accessibility statements recently, too. I stripped out all the technical detail relating to the stuff I spend much of my time away from here doing. And the reason I’m choosing today, of all days to post this bit of shameless self-promotion, is how 9/11 has come to relate to the topic I wrote about in my revised statement concerning Accessibility…”