Ridiculously Loved and Sorely Missed

A photograph of Freddy

I’ve been thinking about this post for near about a week. And I’ve been trying to write it for, what must be, a few of days, now. The more I think and write about how I feel, the more forced and insincere, I think, it seems. So I’m just going to write and hope I get down all I want to say…

My dearest friend, Freddy, passed away last Thursday morning, June 11th, 2009. Just as quickly as he came into my life, he was gone…

It was September 2004 when I was first introduced to Freddy, shortly before his first birthday, on a weekend excursion up north. I was at a camp for dogs. I was contemplating getting a “service dog.” When, all of a sudden, he proudly pranced into my life. That was when I’d found out he had spent the first bit of his life living in a kennel, soon after being returned to his “breeder” for  — whatever this means – not being “puppy enough.” But, by that time, I’d decided a “working dog” wasn’t something I necessarily needed or, much more importantly, anything I wanted. For various reasons. More on that some other time.

I did, however, make all the necessary arrangements for him to come live with me, as my “companion.” I was more than able to provide him a home to eat, play, and sleep in. And that’s exactly what I did.

Now it’s not my intent to give the impression I was his “savior” or his only shot at, what I’d like to think, was a happy and enjoyed life. I’m not so sure I was his only shot. Or the life he lived was all he deserved. But, I do know, I tried my very best to do all I could for him. And I’ll do it all again.

But what I didn’t expect, came as quite a welcomed shock. Living right along side of him provided me a perspective on life I so desperately needed to see to appreciate. For me, my veganism was more a logical endeavour, than anything else, at first. But being witness, first hand, to Freddy experiencing and feeling life as a happy-go-lucky Lab wasn’t anything, I’m sure, I’d have really understood in any other way. I’ll forever cherish the opportunity he gave me by being such an influential part of my life.

As some of you know, and I expect the rest will surmise after reading more of my writing here, I refuse to refer/think of/treat any non-human animal with any less status or respect than I’d pay any other human or myself. Yes that includes treating animals as property I own. Freddy wasn’t my “pet.” He was my best friend. The fact he was of canine persuasion doesn’t, in any way, mean he was any less deserving of mine or anyone’s appreciation or love.

Somehow it feels I’m selling his memory short when trying to write about him now. Maybe it is still too soon. But, that said, I’ll probably never be happy with anything I write, concerning him, at least.

I miss you so very much, Freddy…