Emotions surrounding today are compounded, two fold. The first, and rather obvious, is the attack on The World Trade Center, September 11th, 2001. Which, I’m sure, will receive it’s fair share of misguided coverage in the media today.
And of course events of that morning had a lot to do with the emotions I currently feel. What with America still as arrogant, if not more, than September 10th, 2001. The harder they fight, what they deem as threats to their homeland and their “sovereignty,” the less relevant its government becomes. And the less “safe” our global community grows. In fact it’s much too ironic for even me to appreciate. So I’ll leave it there.
But ever more applicable to me, at least, is the second and more personal reason. It started a little bit before that day, on the July 1st weekend…
I wrote a piece this year on some impressions I have now and what, I feel, the entire year represented. It was totally unintentional that I wrote those bunch of words and posted them on that day, of all days. Strange. Anyway nearing the end of that post I wrote;
“I can’t help but feel haunted by what that record [Jane Doe] and that year, specifically represent. Life seemed so easy before 2001, but after shit seems so complicated. Hindsight is 20/20, right? But I’m most bothered by the feeling that the year 2001 was the point in time when life and death began a slow descent into convergence…”
That, weekend, was exactly when I moved from the town I grew up in, to a new house precisely built with my specific situation and needs in mind. And with that move came the inevitable change in my life I had long been waiting for. I finally started my new life and began to grow into the individual I would soon become.
Obviously when I wrote “life seemed so easy before 2001”, I wasn’t exactly serious. Life, at least, from my accident until that point was everything but easy. But in order to carry on as a productive member of society — not to worry, the hilarity of that statement isn’t spared on me — I needed to start to add a bunch of responsibilities to my “repertoire” in order to lead a somewhat successful existence. And it was tricky to rearrange important priorities in my life to suit certain things I now had to do.
Everyone has to change their considerations at different points in their life — I don’t mean to sound like this was a big deal, I’m not sure it was — but it is something worth mentioning simply because I needed to alter the manner in which I operated. It was a challenge. But one, I’m happy to admit, was worth every single bit of difficulty I underwent.
The pay-off, being my life now, is that much more fulfilled…